Gender issues relate to men and boys as much as they relate to girls and women. Traditional societal gender-specific norms define the expectations for each gender. This situation has a direct impact on the health of men and boys, on their relationships with women (partners) and other members of the family, as well as on the health and well-being of their children.
Perceptions of the men’s and women’s roles that are shaped within the family and in society determine attitudes to most of the important aspects of life - parenthood and involvement in childrearing, general physical condition and reproductive health, and use of violence. Studies confirm that gender stereotypes and different expectations concerning how a boy is supposed to behave as compared to a girl have a huge impact on young people. Both men and women fall into the trap of accepted and often obsolete norms. For instance, there is a common perception that being a man means being tough, brave, and sometimes belligerent, taking risky actions, including ones that are destructive to human health. Socialization of children encourages aggressiveness and lack of emotion in boys, vs. obedience and meekness in girls. As a result of such beliefs, imparted almost from birth, men develop careless attitude to their own health and detachment from family life.
According to the World Health Organization, the suicide rate among men is 6 times higher than among women, they also have higher alcohol and tobacco consumption rates and account for the majority of deaths from diseases associated with an unhealthy lifestyle. In Belarus, the mortality rate for men is 21% higher than for women. The belief that reinforces the perception of men as invulnerable and totally independent can cause them to hesitate and linger before seeking medical advice, particularly if the problems are related to reproductive health. Associate Professor Olga Yanchuk, Chair of the NGO "Belarusian Association of Young Christian Women", sociologist, head of the Social Work Department at the Maxim Tank Belarusian State Pedagogical University, and PhD Cand. ( Social Sciences) notes that the existing stereotypes concerning the proper conduct of men and women impose stricter compliance requirements on men, and, respectively, violation of these stereotypes by men is less acceptable.
“One of the most common gender stereotypes in the patriarchal tradition, which prevails in the mass consciousness of the Belarusian people, is the one of a man as good provider. From the supremacy of this stereotype there stem numerous behavioural practices that determine the occupations of men at home, their behaviour in the event of unemployment, expectations for and attitude to them on the part of spouses and other family members. A man is expected to make the greatest contribution to the family budget, and sometimes to be the only contributor, since it is his primary duty and responsibility. For many men, inability to make their family financially comfortable becomes the cause of reproaches and accusations by their close ones, and makes them feel like a failure”.
Gender stereotypes significantly limit the role of men in the family and in the lives of children, which is often limited to financial input ("man as good provider"). As a result, men receive less positive emotions from communicating with children and this situation negatively affects both women and children. Meanwhile, at the International Conference on Population and Development (ICPD) (Cairo, 1994), it was noted that men could play an active role in childrearing and taking care of the mothers. The Programme of Action adopted by the Conference emphasized the importance of gender equality in all spheres of life, including family life.
"Responsible sexual behaviour, sensitivity and equality in gender relations, particularly when instilled during the formative years, enhance and promote respectful and harmonious partnerships between women and men" (ICPD Programme of Action, para 7.34).
Andrew Turovets, Manager of the Dad School project in Belarus and director of the Minsk City Social Services Centre for Families and Children, confirms that an atmosphere of equal partnership in the family is very beneficial for a child’s development.
- Since we know from the developmental and family psychology that the child adopts the emotional "picture of the world" up to the age of three, and the intellectual model of life up to the age of five or six, the significance of birth and early childhood experience in an atmosphere of gender equality becomes quite clear. This childrearing model enhances the developing individual’s capabilities and provides effective alternatives for interaction with the opposite- and same-sex persons in the future. It should be remembered that the emotional atmosphere during the early years is of primary importance, and that the presence of gender equality in the family becomes a powerful source of broadening the child’s personality. This is why we are working on the creation and implementation of a social and psychological technology for development of fathering abilities and skills in young men – would-be fathers – during their wives’ pregnancy.
Educating responsible fathers should start from a very early age. Happy fatherhood can be an indicator of social well-being on a par with such indicators as physical health and the economic component. It has to be understood and it is necessary to strive towards this goal and work on it.
Andrew Turovets notes that the promotion of positive and advanced forms of fatherhood among men and boys is an urgent task of our time.
“The demand for this work, performed by both public and private sector, is ever increasing. There are "key" periods when supporting a man’s role as a father may unveil best human and parental qualities in him. This is, for instance, the period during his wife’s pregnancy and childbirth. This is the time when his baby takes its first steps. This is the time when the child writes his or her first letter in the sand. Each of these moments is unique. And you must not miss them - you have to be present in this moment, enjoy it, and feel it deeply.
Fathers can get help with doing this in our Dad groups, traditionally called Dad Schools, although they are more like fathers’ clubs. Dad groups in 5 districts of Minsk and Gomel have been running in a pilot mode for more than 3 years.
Children develop better socially and emotionally, they are more academically successful in school and able to establish healthy relationships as adults, if men (social or biological fathers) are involved in their lives.
This is proved by the findings of studies conducted in Western Europe and North America. In addition to this, the presence of men beside women and their participation in domestic work has a positive effect on the development of women, allowing them to study, work or engage in the activities that help to improve the quality of life for themselves and their family members.
Men play an important role in the creation of equal conditions for self-actualization of women in society and can do a lot to prevent violence against women and girls, including domestic violence. In the context of domestic violence, men are often seen as part of the problem, only. It is important to see them as part of the solution as well. The first step towards this will be through establishing equal partnership in one’s own family. The next step could be to participate in community initiatives, information campaigns and programs aimed at countering domestic violence and supporting gender equality.
In turn, women should understand how gender-specific norms influence the behaviour of men in society and not reinforce these stereotypes.
Olga Yanchuk notes that stereotypes also change in response to the changing living environment and socio-economic conditions. But they are changing much slower, hindering self-actualization of those people, for whom this behaviour pattern is not or has never been the norm.
"We need to encourage development of such behaviour patterns that would allow each person to find a niche for himself or herself, to ensure that every choice made by any person is free and consistent with one’s personal interests and inclinations."
“It is beneficial both for the individual and for society as a whole, which will have an interested and capable family man, worker and citizen”.
It is necessary to create conditions in the society that would allow for equal self-actualization of men and women. And the particular self-actualization path will be contextual for every individual in each specific case.
“I believe that gender education is necessary at all stages of personal evolution. This will enable a person to see a wealth of alternative lifestyle choices and make an independent and conscious choice”, - says Olga Yanchuk. –“Every life scenario (based on patriarchal gender stereotypes, or on the basis of behavioural norms, which equally recognize the experience of both women and men) has its "gains" and "losses" for each participant of this relationship, and the visibility and importance of these "gains" and "losses" depend on each individual’s values” .
In any walk of life, in spite of the existing and sometimes outdated rules of conduct, the urgent needs of both sexes should be taken into consideration. Only then it will be possible to achieve productive and harmonious development of society.
